Fallen
by ninja-kitty
Summary: Angelus Is Back. Character death and rape. Dark. Read And Reveiw.
1. Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER-No, not mine. Don't take anything from me, I owe money to those damn blockbuster people. I'm on the run; they want to take £10.75 off me, just because I was three days late taking Heartbreakers back. Sheesh!  
  
***Sorry about that. On with the story. I have a great idea. Two actually. Give me money to pay of my fines OR you can review. I'd prefer the reviews.***  
  
Fallen  
  
PROLOUGE  
  
Cordelia Chase turned in her sleep. A frown was etched upon her beautiful face. She was huddled up in a small ball at the edge of her bed, almost as if she expected someone else to be on the other side, curled up around her.  
  
Wesley sighed. He hated for her to be alone like she was. He wished sometimes that he'd never let her come to England with him. He hadn't been helping her with her problems, he had helped her run away from them, but that was not what he had intended.  
  
When they had first bought the house in the Lake District he had told her she should go home after a few weeks, but weeks had turned into months and two years down the line and she was settled in her new life.  
  
He stood up slowly and walked over to her bedroom door, glancing back at her sleeping form. At times it hurt to look at her; he couldn't bear to speak to her sometimes, because when he looked at her it reminded him of what had happened and what he had had to watch. What the monster had done to her.  
  
Cordelia rolled over again and her fists clenched, her fingernails digging into the soft, fleshy palms of her pale and delicate hands. But she was deep in sleep and the pain from the mild wound just got mixed with the pain of her memories.  
  
***  
  
She was hammering on the door with so much force Wesley was afraid she was going to knock it down. He knew it was her, he could her hear her wailing for him to let her in. He wondered what crisis had occurred now.  
  
"What is it Cordelia?" He asked, stifling a yawn and gesturing her to come inside. She brushed past him twiddling her fingers. Her eyes were bloodshot and puffy; her hair was flailing wildly around her shoulders. She looked like she had just woken up and thrown on the first pair of pants she had found and then flung any old jacket on and run all the way over here.  
  
Then again, she probably had done all those things.  
  
She was pacing now up and down the room, her eyes darting dangerously. He was temped to put his hands on his hips and glare at her with an arched eyebrow. He was positive he could pull of a decent Cordelia Chase impression, but he wasn't so sure Cordelia would appreciate it right now. He'd save it for another day.  
  
"Cordelia? Are you going to tell me why you're here or am I supposed to guess?" He asked irritably.  
  
"Oh Wesley," Was all she said and dared to look at him. Pure fear was written across her face. He was stressed. Too much stuff to translate and to much to think about, but the moment she looked at him like that he forgot it all and all his remaining energy was focused on her.  
  
"Tell me Cordelia, why have you been crying?" Wesley asked her gently and sat her down on the couch. She shook her head in disbelief.  
  
"I'm so sorry." She said and her voice cracked.  
  
"Cordelia!" Wesley squeaked. He was really worried now.  
  
"I slept with Angel," She said, it was so quiet Wesley barely heard her. But he did hear her. For precious seconds he said nothing. She was looking at him expectantly. A sign that he understood what she was saying. To come out and tell him would be too hard. Of course she was been selfish. She deserved to feel guilty.  
  
"You stupid girl." Wesley said finally in a low voice. "You bloody stupid girl! What the hell were you thinking? For god's sake, you were in SunnyDale when it last happened!" His voice got higher as he continued to talk. He stopped finally and simply glared at her.  
  
She felt so small and stupid sat there with him. He was right though. She had been stupid. They both had. But she had urged him on. She had told him it would be ok, she had said that with her been half demon that it would be fine. And he had gone along with her.  
  
"When?" Wesley asked.  
  
"I don't know. I woke up a half hour ago and he was gone, no note or anything. I thought he had just gone but then I put two and two together."  
  
"Where were you?"  
  
"The hotel. Fred and Gunn went out on a case." She sniffed.  
  
"God dammit Cordelia! How long has all this been going on? I didn't even know you two were together!" Wesley said in exasperation.  
  
"We didn't tell you. We didn't want you to.to say we couldn't, in case something like this happened. We thought it would be ok." She explained meekly.  
  
"Something LIKE this? I don't know what to say to you." He sighed deeply and rested his head in his hands thinking hard. "We'll have to warn Gunn and Fred. You better do that now. I'll have to phone Sunny Dale and see if Willow still has the curse. We'll need supplies and have to ask Lorne if he or anyone he knows can do the spell, and we'll have to hide somewhere. He's invited into all our homes."  
  
Cordelia didn't reply to any of this. How could she have caused so much trouble? She was the reason Angelus was back. If he hurt anyone.she would never be able to forgive herself. Or him.  
  
"Well? Get calling!" Wesley said, trying not to raise his voice. He was angry with her, and disappointed. He had thought she was smarter than this. He wanted to yell at her, but at the same time wanted to hug her and tell her it would be ok and that it wasn't her fault.  
  
Cordelia jumped up and reached for the phone.  
  
***  
  
Cordelia's eyes snapped open. She peered warily around the room. She was safe and alone. She took a few deep breaths. It wasn't the first time she'd had flashbacks. They were so vivid.it was like she was back in LA living it all for the first time. Each twist taking her by surprise, each word and command new to her.  
  
She didn't want to close her eyes again. She knew what happened next and she couldn't deal with that sort of pain right now. She looked over at her digital alarm clock. 4am. She would have to get up in three hours. She was on overtime at the bar, she had to be in early to clean and then sort out the orders then open the pub and start serving. At 1:15 she would get a half hour break before starting again till six. Then she got an hour of before coming back to work until eleven.  
  
Cordelia was pretty sure those hours were illegal, but she needed the money. Wesley's bookshop didn't exactly rake in millions. Not that they were going to be out on the streets. They were comfortable together, just the two of them in the small countryside house. But Cordelia hated to have to borrow off Wesley all the time.  
  
With a yawn she lay back down and tried to think of something happy. That summer had been a happy one. It had been freezing, what with the English weather but she had swum across the lake any way. Two miles across with Wesley in the rowing boat telling her there were sharks ahead. She had known he was only teasing her but that hadn't stopped her screaming and swimming furiously after him in the boat and demanding he let her climb in.. ***  
  
He was scared. No doubt about it. Wesley tried to think of a silver lining.  
  
Ok, so he was locked up in the Hyperion with Cordelia. Gunn and Fred were with Lorne preparing the curse. Angelus was outside the room somewhere. Checking each room he passed, sniffing them out. It was all happening so slowly. He could probably smell the fear, he probably knew where they were and was simply mocking them.  
  
"Silver lining silver lining." Wesley muttered under his breath. But there was nothing. He was probably going to die. No way could Lorne get all ingredients for the spell in time. In fact, Wesley doubted whether they had even got to Caritas yet.  
  
Now Wesley was convinced he was going to die. Especially when he heard a laugh from outside the door.  
  
"Wesley? Are you in there hiding from me?" Angelus asked in a highly cheerful voice. Cordelia looked over at him and he could see she was shaking. Wesley lifted his fingers to his lips and quietly backed over to her, clutching the axe in his hand. Beside him Cordelia was gripping a stake tightly, just in case.  
  
When the door burst open, Cordelia was already in tears. She wanted to be brave so much. She wanted to be able to stand and look at what she had set free without been so afraid. But the fear was so intense. It overtook her and she felt like she should fall backwards and hide her head in her arms until it was all over. She couldn't move, she was frozen to the spot.  
  
Angelus surveyed the room and laughed. The only way out was the way he came in. And there was no way they were getting past him.  
  
Cordelia could see his mouth opening, could hear the words coming out but her mind was so messed up that she didn't understand what he was talking about. Her breathing was becoming shallow and she had to lean against the wall just to stay upright. It was becoming hazy. Wesley was looking at her in desperation; Angelus was smiling in a bemused sort of way.  
  
Wesley was calling her name, but it sounded so far away. Her eyes closed and she sank down to the floor.  
  
"Looks like it's just you and me Wes!"  
  
Someone was screaming. It was a horrendous noise ringing in her ears. There were voices too, but the screaming blocked it out. Cordelia opened her eyes. She was strapped down to a chair. Funny, she didn't remember there been chairs in the room. Wesley was strapped to one to, right opposite her. His head was slumped forward and she could hear him breathing. Thank god he was alive. She wondered who had been screaming, then dismissed the thought, she must have been dreaming.  
  
"Wes?" Cordelia tried, it came out croaky, her throat was so dry. He didn't react.  
  
"Wes!" She tried again. This time his head moved until he was looking her straight in the eye. "What happened?" She hissed.  
  
"You fainted." He said dully.  
  
"Wesley! Where is he?" She asked and looked behind her. There was nobody there. They were alone. Cordelia sighed in relief and turned back to Wesley.  
  
"He went..to get more tools." Wesley said and nodded to the table in the room. Knives, scalpels, matches, ECT.  
  
Cordelia looked closer at Wesley. His shirt had gone and there were burn marks all up his torso and blood was trickling from his neck.  
  
"Oh God Wesley!" She said with deep remorse. Tears were brimming. How could he have done this? She knew who had being screaming now.  
  
When he arrived back Cordelia whimpered.  
  
"I see my princess has woken up." He said. Cordelia scowled at him and looked away. Seeing him made her want to throw up.  
  
The next hour felt like weeks for Cordelia. She couldn't even imagine how Wesley must be feeling. Every time a knife was pushed through his skin he tried not to cry out but it was damn near impossible. Cordelia was crying freely now. She kept her eyes tightly shut, she couldn't watch this, but she couldn't block out the howls of pain and torment.  
  
Eventually it stopped and after ten minutes of silence Cordelia knew it was over. She dared to open an eye. He was still alive. Relief flooded through her along with fear. It would be her turn now.  
  
She had never known any feeling like this. It was beyond fear, it was beyond anything. He had left the room again. Cordelia knew he would be back soon. He wouldn't leave her unscathed.  
  
Wesley was aching all over. Of course, he would go through it all again for Cordelia. She was one of his best friend. He could see she was petrified and he wondered if she could handle the pain.  
  
When he came back in he headed straight to Cordelia. She was in tears again and trembling.  
  
"Cordy!" Angelus said and cupped her cheek in his hand. He shushed her and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Don't be scared Cordy." He whispered to her and kissed her. She pulled away and spat at him.  
  
"Don't you dare." She warned. He laughed.  
  
"I'm sorry Cordelia but there's not a lot you can do to stop me."  
  
Wesley stared in horror. Angelus had ignored the table of torture weapons and was untying Cordelia's legs and standing her up. Now only her hands were tied behind her back. She almost looked sane now. Wesley couldn't believe he was going to let her go. Maybe this was some sick new game he had devised.  
  
Angelus kissed her again and his hands roamed around her body. She wriggled away looking disgusted.  
  
"Get your hands of her you dirty son of a bitch," Wesley growled, and then grimaced. It hurt to even move. Wesley was ignored. Now it was his turn to close his eyes. He couldn't watch this. This was worse than the torture. He could hear her terrified sobs and strangled screams as Angelus raped her, grunting heavily.  
  
Wesley was crying now, crying so hard he thought he would never stop.  
  
***To be Continued and all that jazz. Please Review. Tell me whether to continue or not.*** 


	2. Chapter 2

***Seriously, thanks so much for all the feedback. I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY appreciate it. Ahh. Well, I hope you review again. Hint hint. Also, I don't know HOW to type in bold or italics. Whenever I click on the little buttons it works on word but when I upload it's back to normal. HELP ME!***  
  
Chapter 2  
  
Cordelia tried to ignore the ringing of the alarm clock and burrowed deeper down in the warmth of her bed. As always it got the better of her and the palm of her hand slammed onto the clock, her fingers fumbling for the snooze button.  
  
For a few minutes she stayed under the sheets. She felt weird today, like something wasn't quite right. She surveyed her room carefully. It looked the same as it always did. Same old junk strewn across the desk and vanity table, same old clothes discarded on the floor.  
  
She closed her eyes again and tried to ignore the inkling but it just wouldn't go away. She sat up and looked around again. She narrowed her eyes and her head swung round so she was facing the window. The dark sky glared angrily back at her along with the gnarled branches of the tall oak tree that stood proudly beside the house.  
  
"Funny." She said to herself. "I usually shut the curtains." She mused and stood up. She padded over to the window and peered into the gloom.  
  
Dawn would soon be approaching and Cordelia was glad for it. It was only in the daylight that she felt something close to safe. Usually she couldn't bear to be alone at night. In the first few weeks in England she had had to camp on Wesley's bedroom floor.  
  
As she looked out into the night, something below caught her eye. She stared down and tried to see what it was. It was a figure, definitely a person, running away. She shut her eyes in horror. If she couldn't see it, it wasn't real.  
  
Very slowly she opened one eye and looked out again. The first signs of light were there and when she looked below again the only person she could see was Wesley waving up at her, a forced smile on his face.  
  
She laughed with immense relief and mouthed a "Good Morning" down at her best friend. She pulled a hand through her coarse dark hair. She turned from the window and leant against the wall for a few minutes and took deep breaths.  
  
"Pull yourself together Chase." She ordered herself and buried her face in her hands.  
  
There was nothing going on. There was no danger. No one from her past new she was here. She was completely safe.  
  
With those thoughts in mind she exited her bedroom and grabbed a towel and headed to the bathroom.  
  
  
  
Wesley stood waving up at Cordelia trying to look natural. He felt like a twit stood in the garden holding a cricket bat in his blue checked pyjamas. He couldn't even play cricket.  
  
He remembered when Cordelia had flitted around the village telling anyone who'd listen how he was destined to be the new captain of the local team. He didn't have the heart to tell her that actually, he had never played the game before and had no idea about the rules.  
  
From the moment Wesley had woken up, he had known something was wrong. He hadn't slept well. His dreams were disturbed by twisted images and shadowed figures. He kept waking every so often and get that inkling that something was not quite right.  
  
Finally, a little before seven, the inkling got the better of him and he got up to investigate. As soon as he had stood up the feeling got stronger and he was suddenly rather anxious. He had tiptoed across the hall to Cordelia's room to check on her.  
  
If there was danger around then she was his first priority and he wouldn't even begin to investigate until he was positive she was completely safe. When he was assured that Cordelia was fine he went downstairs. He had grabbed the cricket bat from the back of the cupboard and gripped it tightly in his hand and edging into the kitchen.  
  
His hands were sweaty and his grip was loosened and the bat started to slip. He look a fresh grip and slammed the kitchen door open, through the French windows opposite he saw a figure squeeze through the garden bushes and then the garden was empty, apart from Pepper the cat who sat in the middle of the lawn daintily licking her paws.  
  
Wesley ran into the garden and over to the bushes. He could see where the person had squeezed through. He doubled back and headed to the great oak tree. He couldn't tell whether anyone had climbed up it, but he knew that someone had been stood under it. Tell tale cigarette buts littered the ground.  
  
Wesley waved up at Cordelia as he spotted her peering past the hedge. Wesley's heart jumped, the last thing he wanted was Cordelia to suspect anything. She smiled back at him and then disappeared from the window. He became aware that he had been holding his breath and hastily let it out.  
  
He had a pretty good idea of who had been loitering in the garden. And Wesley wasn't going to rest until he knew this new threat was annihilated.  
  
  
  
Cordelia wrapped the towel tightly around her body and hurried down the hall back to her bedroom. She stopped in front of the mirror and leaned towards it, taking in her reflection.  
  
The big black bags under her eyes were the only thing that gave away the image that she was fine. She opened the draw under the mirror and searched for anything that would hide the bags, the last thing she wanted was Wesley worrying himself about her.  
  
She remembered shoving a cover up stick somewhere on the shelves about so she stretched up and her hands and grappled amongst the books and stuffed animals and god knows what else for the cover up.  
  
She swore as she knocked of a dusty old file and papers came flying out of it along with a CD case that hit her on the head. She yelped and kicked the offending case. It didn't go very far.  
  
With a sigh she knelt down to pick up the stuff. Her hand froze over an old photograph. She could fee lumps rising in her throat and tears gathering in her eyes. A small choking sound escaped her mouth and she shakily picked up the picture.  
  
It was from happier times before everything had gone wrong. She started from the left and looked at each body carefully in turn.  
  
Fred was first; a huge cheesy grin on her face, her arms wrapped tightly across Gunn's neck who was trying to smile for the camera but was rather red in the face and looked like he couldn't breathe. He probably couldn't, not with the grip Fred had on him.  
  
Next came Wesley who was giving Fred a withering glance and tugging at Gunn's shirt. Cordelia smiled. She remembered the day clearly. She smiled in a bittersweet way, almost wishing she could go back and live it all again.  
  
She moved on to herself. She was looking right at the camera, laughing. Her body was pressed against Angels, and instead of looking at the camera he was gazing down at her with, there was not any other word for it, adoration.  
  
He looked Happy.  
  
Cordelia felt a tug in her heart; there weren't words to describe how much she loved him. He had been her everything. Wherever she went, little things reminded her of him and when they were apart, even if it had only been for minutes, she felt like it had been a lifetime. She could never bring herself to tell anyone the torment she suffered everyday in England just been away from him.  
  
He had hurt her in the vilest way imaginable, but you couldn't just switch those feeling off. For a while she had thought she had hated him. She had hated him. But hate and love was a painful and dangerous combination. They shouldn't be mixed. She was insanely glad that she would never have to confront him again.  
  
***  
  
Tears streaked down Cordelia's face, she wanted to look away from his face, and it was so close to her own. She couldn't bear to look up into those familiar dark brown eyes.  
  
She was hurting. Shuddering gasps escaped her throat; nothing in this world could have prepared her for this. She had never imagined this could hurt so much, and it wasn't physical pain. She could not believe he was doing this to her.  
  
It was the worst punishment he could have dealt her. His hands roamed up and down her body, she was powerless to stop them. He was thrusting into her faster and faster, but there was no pleasure in this for her. The only pleasure he was getting was from her pain. He fed of it.  
  
He was kissing her now. She stayed as still as she could. His tongue straying into her mouth, she clamped her teeth down. He barely flinched, he laughed in her ear, mocking her attempt. His head moved down until he was gently kissing her neck.  
  
This wasn't the ideal way to die. But she couldn't bear to be in this situation any longer. If death was the only was to escape this torment then death was fine with her. She shut her eyes and tilted her head for him.  
  
His teeth sank deep into her neck, there had to be a better place than this, Cordelia prayed desperately. Raped and bitten by the darkest vampire she had ever heard of.  
  
She could feel the blood been sucked from the wound, painstakingly slow. She wanted to say goodbye really. She would have liked to see them all one last time. But you didn't always get what you wanted.  
  
She had accepted it now. She was a toy to him. Angelus wasn't even going to bother turning her like he did Drucilla. He wasn't going to tease her for months like he did Buffy. She didn't mean that much to him. She was simply a thing he used to pass the time.  
  
And that hurt more than the way he was using her.  
  
It was at that moment it all stopped. Cordelia almost smiled. Death actually didn't feel that bad. He had pulled out of her. Or maybe she just couldn't feel it anymore, she was dead. But she felt her eyes opening, and then her eyes were locked on his.  
  
He grinned down at her.  
  
"Don't tell me you didn't have fun baby." He said and stroked her cheek, brushing tears away.  
  
She broke down in more sobs. He didn't care anymore. He stood up, zipped up his pants, smirked at her once more and left the room, whistling a tune as he sauntered away.  
  
Cordelia couldn't even move. She couldn't stop crying. She didn't want too. It wasn't very often that she cried. It was a rare sight, but she didn't care who saw her. She wanted to cry ad cry until there was no tears left in her and then she wanted to curl up in a ball and never wake up.  
  
"Cordelia," Wesley said, with deep remorse. With tremendous force he broke the bonds strapping him to his chair, cursing as the ropes caused burns on his flesh.  
  
He hobbled over to her on his bruised legs. Her broken body lay on the floor; no effort was made on her behalf to cover herself up.  
  
"Cordy," He said her name again; it only made her cry hider. He reached out to touch her fingers.  
  
"Don't." It came out so weakly. He clutched her fingers tightly. "Don't fucking touch me Wesley! Leave me alone! Don't look at me! Don't, don't, don't!"  
  
***Please review again! It keeps me going! This will probably be the last update for more than a week as I'm going away on Saturday, unless I work extra hard and get the next chapter up by Saturday morning. Hey, anything's possible!*** 


	3. Chapter 3

***Please review. In future chapters I'll try to explain how Angelus got hold of Fred and Gunn. If this story is to sick and disturbing for you, I'm very sorry, but I feel I have to establish how evil Angelus is. PLEASE somebody tell me how to type in italics, I put it in italics on word, but when I upload it won't work.  
  
If you can suggest away to bring Buffy into the story, I'll certainly consider it, but I'm lost for ideas on how to bring her in. I'm more of a C/A shipper, but I'm not against B/A***  
  
"I'll pick you up tonight." Wesley said, switching off the engine.  
  
"Pick me up? You never give me a ride home." Cordelia replied, adjusting the rear view mirror so she could see herself.  
  
"Don't play with that." Wesley scolded her and slapped her hand away. She rolled her eyes at him and left the mirror alone.  
  
"So? Why can't I walk home like normal?" She enquired.  
  
"It's getting darker later. I just think it would be safer." He said.  
  
"Safer? Wesley, this isn't LA. We live in the teeniest village in the whole world, practically, I know everyone who lives here. This place is danger free." She argued lamely. Truth be told, she hated walking home alone in the dark, usually Wesley was asleep by the time she got home, she didn't like to ask him to drive her home every night and there were no cabs in the village.  
  
"I'm picking you up." Wesley said in a decisive tone. Cordelia knew the discussion was over and for once she didn't mind she had lost.  
  
"Fine, fine, ok." She said and grabbed her handbag. "I'll see you later then."  
  
He smiled at her and leant over, opening her door for her. She slipped out and started to walk away. She stopped and turned back. She knocked on the window of the car. Wesley raised his eyes skyward and pushed the button. The window opened.  
  
"Is there a reason why I shouldn't be safe?" She questioned meekly. He could see she was scared. He reached out and gripped her hand that was resting on the car door. He squeezed it gently.  
  
"Of course not." He assured her. Her face brightened immediately.  
  
"Ok. I'm going this time, I promise."  
  
*** I  
  
"Come on Lorne! The key to this operation is speed." Fred said, glancing at the empty doorway of Caritas.  
  
"Actually doll face it's silence." Lorne snapped and turned back to his table. The orb of thellessa was sat on it along with a few candles.  
  
"We don't have so much time." She said with a frown.  
  
"Come on, let's just do our part ok?" Gunn interjected and gently laid his hand on her shoulder.  
  
"Sorry, you're right." She mumbled and waved her candle around in the air lamely while Gunn threw some sort of herb around the room.  
  
He was rather miffed that he had got stuck with the smelly stuff throwing. He was sure there was something more manly he could have been doing.  
  
Lorne started the incantation and closed his eyes. The chanting got quieter after a while, and it became obvious that Lorne was struggling to complete the curse.  
  
"Well isn't this cosy?" An amused voice asked. With a heavy heart Gunn turned to see his friend stood casually in the entrance.  
  
"Angel." Gunn said edgily and pushed Fred behind him.  
  
"Hey Charles! Say, this isn't you trying to give me that pesky soul back again is it?" Angelus asked, rubbing his hands together.  
  
"No, but that's Lorne trying." Gunn said and shoved his hand into his pocket. His fingers tightened around the stake he had stuffed hurriedly there.  
  
Angelus strolled down the steps and ran his fingers along the bar.  
  
"Dusty. I think you've been neglecting this place Lorne." He said as if he were telling a kid they had to tidy their room better next time.  
  
"Angel cakes!" Lorne said in his usual cheerful tone and stood up. "Can I get you a drink?"  
  
"I don't think so."  
  
"Come on, we're all friends here!"  
  
"No, no, no." Angelus said and shook his head as he said it. "If we were friends then you guys wouldn't be ganging up on me! Trying to force a soul into me! Do you people have any idea how fucking irritating that thing is?" He asked, stress written across his face. He looked at the three of them carefully, his gaze resting on Fred. "Fred," He murmured taking a step closer. "Beautiful Fred,"  
  
"Leave her out of this man." Gunn warned, looking down at Angelus.  
  
"But she's a part of it all, she's trying to punish me, I don't like punishments."  
  
"I'm trying to save you Angel!" Fred piped up. "You can't honestly tell me that you're happy how you are now. There's still a part of you in there that wants to do good in this world!"  
  
Angelus laughed and grabbed her wrists, pulling her towards him.  
  
"For someone with so many science degrees and a thirst for knowledge, you really are very stupid Winifred." He hissed, staring into her eyes. She whimpered and tried to back away.  
  
"Let her go." Gunn said. His voice was shaking with anger and his eyes.Fred had never seen him look so dangerous before. She couldn't conceal the fact she was scared. Scared of what he might do to Angelus. She didn't want Angelus to be staked, she wanted Angel back.  
  
"Lighten up Charles, I promise you'll see Fred here again. I wouldn't eat a pretty girl like this one. I don't eat the pretty ones Charles, I turn them." Angelus said and turned back to Fred.  
  
Gunn was paralysed with fear, he had never met Angelus before, but he didn't doubt that he would follow through the threat.  
  
"Sorry kids but you forgot something," Lorne butted in. "No violence in Caritas." He said in a disapproving tone. "Everybody's safe here."  
  
In the drama Gunn had forgotten that rule. He breathed a sigh of relief and sank to the floor. Angelus tried to bite her anyway but his head was jerked back and he growled in anger. He threw Fred at her boyfriend. She sobbing into his chest and he wrapped strong arms around her.  
  
"It's ok baby, its ok." He whispered in her ear.  
  
"Unless you're going to spend the night bitch fighting I propose you scurry away dark Angel. Unless you've changed your mind about that drink."  
  
Angelus looked in disgust around the club. How could he have forgotten? And now he'd have to leave. It would be a crap exit too. He was feeling rather dismayed. He wondered what he could do now. He'd already got Wesley and Cordelia. Gunn and Fred were as safe as houses.  
  
He needed to break that orb. It was vital that it was destroyed. He kicked the wall outside of Caritas.  
  
He liked the idea of turning Cordelia and sending her in to steal the orb. But that would take to much time, time he didn't have.  
  
"Fucking stupid pricks," He hissed and kicked the wall angrily. It crumbled a little, but not enough that anybody would notice.  
  
He had limited time; this meant he had limits on what he could do. He had to face reality; in less than an hour he was going to be gone. Angel was going to rein the city again. Idiot.  
  
He had to do something to make this short stint of Angelus memorable. Of course, Cordelia was going to remember tonight's events for the rest of her life. That cheered Angelus up considerably and he smiled a little.  
  
Then he had an idea. *** Cordelia still lay whimpering on the floor of the room. Wesley didn't want to disturb her, didn't even want to speak to her. He wanted to pretend he had no idea what had just happened. He didn't know what to say to her, but he had to convince her to move. They had to get out before Angelus returned.  
  
"Cordy," He whispered eventually. "Cordy, we have to get out!" She looked up from her hands. Mascara was mixed with her tears and was streaked all the way down her face, her cheeks were flushed red and her eyes were puffy and pink. Her face was drenched with tears.  
  
There was already a bruise forming on her neck and still the blood was trickling slowly down her slim, tanned neck. Wesley concentrated on one droplet; fascinated by the way it lingered on her delicate skin. The bright red colour clashed terribly with her flesh and stood out a mile.  
  
Wesley followed the droplet as it moved down her neck. He watched it twist this way and that so painstakingly slowly until it joined onto another drop and the new drop fell off her body and collected in the pool of dark red blood that was gathered around Cordelia.  
  
"Cordy, I have to get you out. You need medical help." Wesley said hoarsely. "Please Cordelia, let me help you!" He was pleading with her now. He didn't care either like he normally would if he had been forced to resort to this.  
  
She made a noise half way between a grunt and a moan. Wesley took this as a yes and hurried over to her pulling clothes over her head as swiftly as he could. He tried so hard to avoid looking at her wounds, but it was hard not to notice the gaping scars or the thin scratches across her stomach. Wesley tried to shake away twisted images of Angelus digging his nails deep into Cordelia's perfect torso.  
  
She was in too much distress to even move. Wesley had heaved her up of the floor and pulled her towards the door, but she hadn't tried to move still and her feet dragged until she was half lying on the floor again.  
  
Wesley stooped over her and gently hoisted her up. He pulled her into his arms and carried her out of the hotel as quickly as he could.  
  
He felt strange walking down the familiar steps down into the main lobby. Everything was different now. If they ever got Angel back Wesley knew that everything would change. He seriously doubted Cordelia would remain friends with Angel after this. Wesley seriously doubted HE would remain friends with Angel after this.  
  
He remembered only to well how badly Cordelia reacted when Angel had fired them. And then he had simply ignored them.  
  
*  
  
It was hours later when Wesley finally pulled his car up outside Cordelia's apartment block. They had entered the hospital at 12:15am. It was now 1:35pm. Wesley had been careful not to mention what had happened, although he was positive the hospital staff suspected him of something. The way she kept crying and crying, refusing to talk. They had been staring and whispering at him all the while he was there. Most giving him dirty looks if he dared ask them how she was.  
  
A thick white patch had covered the marks in her neck. The doctor had insisted she was kept in over night to rest and recover but she hadn't slept. Nor had Wesley. He had been terrified Angelus might turn up again. He had sat faithfully at her bedside all night, occasionally leaving to get coffee and check the hallways, checking they were empty.  
  
If Angelus did appear, Cordelia wondered what Wesley would do. He hadn't been so helpful before. That night, she didn't really give a fuck if he turned up or not. She was past caring. Let him come and torment her some more. It didn't get much worse than this. She felt so flat. Like it didn't matter what happened next. In the grand scheme of things, she didn't matter. If she departed this life....would it be so bad?  
  
"Here we are. Home." Wesley told Cordelia and got out of the car, limping slightly. The doctors had been mildly interested in his injuries, but Wesley had done a good job of convincing them that it was nothing. He could deal with it himself. All his attention was fixed on Cordelia.  
  
Wesley hobbled around the car and opened her door for her. She made a weak attempt at a smile and gratefully accepted his hand. She paused after getting out of the car and got her bearings. She shivered a little in the cool breeze. Her eyes scanned the street, looking for a sign of him.  
  
"It's ok. Daylight." Wesley comforted her. Cordelia nodded and looked over to the building.  
  
"I just want to be home." She croaked.  
  
"I'll stop by my apartment soon. I have the supplies that will allow me to perform the spell that will un-invite a vampire from your home." Wesley said tentatively.  
  
"Ok." She shrugged.  
  
As soon as Wesley was sure Cordelia was settled in her apartment he decided to perform the spell as soon as possible.  
  
On his drive over to his own place he wondered about Lorne and Fred and Gunn. He should catch up with them, make sure they were ok. As long as they had stayed in Caritas they would be ok. He hoped they had managed to complete the ritual. He doubted it though, it was a highly complex spell. He knew they should have asked Willow to do it for them.  
  
As he parked the car he fished around through the small drawer in the front of the car for his cell phone. Wesley switched of the engine and dialled Gunn's number.  
  
When Wesley put the key in the lock he heard it. He could hear the shrill repetitive ringing of a cell phone. Wesley's suspicions were aroused at once. The door was still locked, which meant somebody had got it with a spare key.  
  
"Gunn?" Wesley called clearly and stepped into the apartment. The phone was still ringing. It was coming from the other side of the bedroom door. Wesley called his name again louder this time and started striding towards the door.  
  
Wesley pressed his ear against the blue door and strained to hear any sign that the room wasn't empty. He couldn't hear anything other than the constant ring of the phone. He pressed the End Call button on his own phone and slowly opened the door.  
  
The sight was disgusting. The stench consumed Wesley and the picture in front of him so vile he threw up. Blood, guts and sex filled his nostrils and he retched again, staggering onto his knees taking deep shuddering gasps. This was another nightmare that Angelus had concocted for him.  
  
Fred's mangled naked form lay draped across Wesley's usually neat bed. Now the sheets were crumpled and rich dark blood splattered across them. She was so pale.and her eyes so dead, glazed over but still staring. It was unnerving. Gunn lay on the floor, his head facing the floor. On his leg was a deep gash; it was identical to the one on Wesley's own right leg.  
  
In Fred's stiff, icily cold hands, she grasped a piece of paper. In blood letters were the words;  
  
"Your turns will come."  
  
I  
  
***Thank you to all who reviewed! I thrive of feedback. ( This is more of a filler chapter, but please still review!*** 


	4. Chapter 4

Thank you for all the feedback! I adore you all! Now if you'd just all review again then I'll love you all even more!  
  
I have an idea to bring an old character back, yes. Begins with L, ends in Y and has 6 letters all together (  
  
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Cordelia in wonder around the bar, this had to magic, she had never seen so many people in before.  
  
"Is it someone's birthday again?" Cordelia asked the other bar maid, Vicky as they crossed paths.  
  
"Nah, I heard something about a pig killer," Vicky rolled her eyes. "Nothing like a killer dog to get these lot down here drinking and gossiping."  
  
"Pig killer?" Cordelia said with a snort and shook her head in disbelief. "I wish I had moved to France." She added. Vicky smiled and poured another pint of beer.  
  
"Hey, you know it's my birthday next week, I'm having a party, you and Wes should come."  
  
"Party?" She repeated doubtfully. Were wild parties permitted here? Ugh, Cordelia could see it now, smelly old farmers and grey old women sat around drinking tea with her and Wesley on the edge been bombarded with all those annoying questions old people feel they have to ask so you feel you are been included.  
  
Vicky laughed at Cordelia's expression. "Don't worry, it's not what you think, it is possible to have a party here. Besides, it's my 21st. And we live miles out, no one can complain about the noise."  
  
"No old biddies and farmers?" Vicky laughed harder.  
  
"All guests are under thirty."  
  
"Thanks, I'll ask Wes."  
  
"Here, take these over to the table in the corner," Vicky said and shoved three glasses in Cordelia's hands. Cordelia made her way over to the table, juggling with the glasses and trying to dodge past people who were walking to and from the bar while trying to make polite conversation with passing people.  
  
"Here you go gentlemen." She said brightly and slammed the three pints down. They chorused there thank you's and continued to talk in extremely loud voices.  
  
"Ay, and only last night I was chasing a man of my property. Big lad he was!" One man said, making large gestures with his arms.  
  
"If he was so big, why did he run away from you?" His friend teased and they all laughed.  
  
"I got my riffle out! That's why, I made it quite clear, I says, laddie, if you isn't of my land I'll shoot, and he laughs in my face he does, hidden in the shadows, must 'av been close to midnight, and he laughs so's I gets my gun and I shoot! Now here's the funny bit mate," Cordelia had stopped dead in her tracks and was straining to hear the conversation now. "I got him straight in the chest, but the boy never even stumbled! He just laughs some more at me, apologizes and gets on his way!"  
  
"Oh Frank! You've never hit anything in your life, you're a terrible shot!"  
  
"I shot him I tell ya! I shot him straight in the chest!" At his distress, the table laughed even more and patted him on the back heartily and started cracking jokes about just how terrible Frank was at shooting.  
  
Cordelia slowly made her way back to the bar. She tried to tell herself it was just an old mans ramblings, but the fear was there now, and it wasn't going to go away.  
***  
  
[I]  
  
Wesley dropped the paper and backed up against the wall, he wanted to get out but his legs wouldn't work properly. He closed his eyes tightly and slumped down against the wall, he his face in his scarred hands and let salty tears drop over them and escape through the gaps.  
  
He raised his head a second later and turned it to the side, he retched and wrinkled his nose at the added stench of sick.  
  
He forgot how long he sat in his bedroom, he forgot what he had came back for, he was lost in sorrow. How could he have let this happen? He should have made sure Gunn and Fred were ok when he had all those hours to spare in the hospital, a phone call took seconds. He was disgusted with himself for been so careless. Now two of his friends were dead, another was a basket case crying in her room, and his over friend was a murdering rapist.  
  
Wesley threw his phone against the wall in anger and slammed his fist onto the floor. He was angry and confused. He was afraid, and he was sorry, so sorry that he hadn't been able to stop this in time.  
  
It was no wonder his father hated him, he was useless and a waste of space. What use had he been so far? None at all. If only he could turn back the clock, there may have been something he could have done to prevent all this. He was so stupid; he hated himself more than ever. Those three people had trusted him with their lives, and now only one of them was still alive. A sobbing wreck, but still alive.  
  
He dared a glance at Fred and shivered as glassy brown stared at him. Already the memory of those eyes filled with happiness was fading. He vaguely remembered the way they lit up when she smiled and the way you could look deep into them and still not know what was going on in her head.  
  
It was while Wesley was debating was debating whether or not to call the police when Gunn stirred. At first Wes thought he had imagined it, he looked closer and saw Gunn's fingers clenching up and then a groan escaped his throat.  
  
New hope surged through Wesley and he felt once again that he had a responsibility over people. Cordelia and Charles were alive. It was up to him to protect them now, and this time he would not fail.  
  
"Gunn!" He exclaimed and crawled over, cursing himself for not checking his pulse earlier. "Is anything broken?" Wesley questioned and inspected his head, noting the deep gash in his head. He remembered the way Angelus had stuck a blade deep into his own leg, slowly dragging it through flesh and grimaced as he realized it was probably what had happened to his friend.  
  
"Wesley?" He muttered and turned over on his own. He lay on the floor his head looking up towards the ceiling. Fred was not in his line of vision. Wesley wondered whether Gunn new what had happened.  
  
"Stay there, I'll get you an aspirin." Wesley ordered noticing the clotted blood on Gunn's dark head.  
  
Wesley stumbled out of his bedroom and staggered into his kitchen and raided his cupboards. Eventually he found a packet lurking in the back of a drawer. He threw two into a glass and hurried back to the bedroom, the liquid sloshing over the glass. Gunn had seen Fred by this time. Wesley's earlier query was answered and it was apparent that Gunn had seen what he had done. He wasn't crying though. Just staring at her with a look of hurt on his face.  
  
"This'll help the pain," Wesley said handing him the glass. Gunn turned to look at English man.  
  
"The pain isn't in my head."  
  
They both looked back at Fred. Gunn reached out with a shaking hand and touched his girlfriends.  
  
"She's so cold," He whispered croakily. He had seen many dead bodies, he had watched a couple of his friends die, but he had never known it could feel this bad. Gunn had never given himself so fully to a woman before; he hadn't known he could love someone so much.  
  
He knew know why he had never been so close to anyone before Fred now. This new pain wasn't worth it. Devastating grief washed over him in a cruel wave and hatred swirled upwards for Angelus.  
  
"The bastard."  
  
"We can still get Angel back." Wesley said, but there was no hope or desire in his voice.  
  
"I don't want him back, I want the fucker dead." Gunn growled.  
  
[/I]  
  
***  
  
"Are you ok?" Vicky asked later that night as they stood outside the bar waiting for rides home.  
  
"I'm fine," Cordelia said automatically.  
  
"You just seem a bit out of it." Her friend said with concern.  
  
"Just tired," She replied with a weak attempt at a smile.  
  
"You better be better by my party! I'm having you dancing all night!" Vicky said enthusiastically.  
  
"Or maybe just looking cool in a dark corner?" Cordelia wheedled. Vicky looked disappointed.  
  
"I'm going to keep my eye on you, and if I see you of the dance floor there will be trouble, huge, monstrous trouble, got it?" Vicky said, wagging her finger at Cordelia. Cordelia laughed and assured her that yes, she had got it. "There's my ride," Vicky said and called a goodbye as she tottered down the road and jumped into the back of her friend's car.  
  
Cordelia sighed and shuffled into the doorway of the bar. It was cold and now she was alone. The bar was miles away from everything else, everything was miles away from everything, and it was the stupidest society Cordelia had ever come across. She sighed and wrapped her jacket tighter around her and glanced at her watch.  
  
"Come on Wesley."  
  
When she heard leaves rustling to the left of her she didn't look up, it was probably just birds. After living here for so long she was used to all the wildlife now, it was comforting when she stayed home alone and she heard noises at night, it gave her something to blame instead of scaring herself half to death.  
  
Then someone coughed. Cordelia clamped her hand over her mouth and bit into her skin to stop herself from crying out. She peered into the darkness and tried to make out if there was anyone there. If there was they were invisible to Cordelia. The moon was hidden behind a cloud, typically.  
  
The more she convinced herself there was someone there the more evidence there was to back it up, suddenly the familiar rustlings were the sounds of an approaching figure. When she heard the cough again she stepped out from the doorway and scowled into the night.  
  
"Is there anybody there? We're closed!" She said with a bite of annoyance in her voice. It went silent for a few minutes. "Go home, you hear me? Go home!" Cordelia yelled but her shout died in the evening wind.  
  
Cordelia jumped as the headlights of Wesley's car appeared outside the bar. With a sigh of relief she ran over and slammed the door behind her, pressing the lock down.  
  
"What's wrong?" Wesley asked in alarm.  
  
"Nothing. Can we just go?" She asked quietly and switched on the car radio.  
  
Wesley gave her a withering look and started to pull out. As they drove away he looked in the side mirror and saw darkness. But when he turned around and looked out of the back window he saw him.  
  
They held each other's gaze for a few seconds and then Angel melted into the black sky. Wesley shuddered and pressed down on the accelerator.  
  
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Why are you still reading? This is just me the author talking rubbish; you know what you have to do now. That's right, REVIEW! Tell me what you think, contribute ideas, flame me, praise me, do whatever you want just click the button and write! If you have no feelings on the story, no suggestions and can't be bothered telling me whether it's good or not, just write Hello, yes, I am reading this. THAT WILL DO FOR ME!  
  
~Ninja~ 


	5. Chapter 5

Here we are again then. Chapter 5 this time round. I think I will get Lindsey (with 7 letters!) into the story in one of the next 2 chapters. I hate to repeat myself but please, PLEASE review. You have no idea how grateful I am for all the reviews I received so far! I love you all!  
  
I have no idea when this is set. Conner isn't around though.  
  
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"So we got invited to a party." Cordelia told Wesley and looked into the review mirror to see what had caught Wesley's attention.  
  
"Really." Wesley said without an ounce of enthusiasm.  
  
"Yeah." Cordelia said narrowing her eyes. "Fancy dress. I said we'd go as pink fluffy bunnies. Or as hookers. Both of us."  
  
"That's nice." Wesley said. "Wait, bunnies?"  
  
Cordelia grinned triumphantly as he came out of his trance.  
  
"I'm sorry," He said ruefully as he swung the car down the left turn off. "I have a lot on my mind."  
  
"Want to share?" Cordelia asked tentatively although she already knew he would decline her offer.  
  
"I won't trouble you."  
  
****  
  
I  
  
Wesley ushered Gunn into Cordelia's apartment and shut the door firmly behind them. Gunn walked straight into the kitchen and fell into a chair. His body slumped over until his head was resting on the table. Wesley tried not to look to alarmed when Gunn repeatedly started banging his head on the table.  
  
Wesley tapped gently on Cordelia's bedroom door. She didn't speak but he could hear tell tale sniffling.  
  
"Gunn's here.. I have to talk to you soon Cordy." He said and left her alone.  
  
He groaned and sank deep into the couch trying to shut out bad memories of the past two nights. They weren't going anywhere. With a heavy sigh he realized he still had a spell to do. He was already worn out.  
  
He thanked the gods the spell wasn't that complex and began to rummage in the bag he had brought along with the spell ingredients inside.  
  
After he had performed the spell he sank back into the couch and buried his head in his hands. The spell had drained his last traces of energy, now all he wanted to do was curl up and sleep.  
  
Slowly a tear trickled down Wesley's face and the horrifying events of the night caught up with him. Fred.. She was an amazing woman. So beautiful and so clever. He had adored her.  
  
Tears started to fall in a never-ending torrent, he made no effort to calm himself down, he was crying for the ultimate loss now. Why Fred? She hadn't deserved to go out like this, she deserved better. He hated to think of her suffering and hurt. He had never met another person like Fred before. He cried until his eyes were red and sore and until the tears disappeared. He couldn't cry anymore. Wesley curled himself up into a tight ball and closed his eyes and tried to get some sleep. Tangled images of Fred and Cordelia plagued his dreams.  
  
*  
  
Cordelia debated whether or not to make the call. She hadn't slept again. It was beginning to show. Big bags circled her eyes and her face was unusually pale. She looked like death warmed up.  
  
She looked at the phone again and her hand hovered over it. She picked up the receiver then threw it down again. What was she thinking? She wasn't ready to talk to anybody yet.  
  
"This is not going to destroy you Cordelia Chase." She ordered herself. But it was hard; it had been insanely difficult lasting this long, each minute a constant battle. Who was she kidding? His actions had already destroyed her; everything she had ever loved and believed in had come crashing down around her. There was nothing left in this world for her.  
  
Cordelia had never thought about suicide before, but now, now it seemed like the only way out. That scared her more than anything. She wanted desperately out of this world of hurt and pain, this was a living nightmare. It wouldn't even be cowardly, she realized now it would take courage to take your own life.. end it, put a stop to your own living. Cordelia shivered.  
  
She wanted to be rid of these thoughts, but you didn't just decide you didn't want to feel that way anymore.  
  
"This is NOT going to destroy you." She repeated through clenched teeth and picked up the phone and pressed in the numbers.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Hi. It's Cordelia. Is Willow around?"  
*  
  
"Wesley?" Gunn said, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.  
  
"Yes?" His friend said, fumbling around for his glasses and shoving them hastily onto his head.  
  
"I'm going to kill him. Then I'm leaving." Gunn told him and sat down in a chair. Wesley paused before saying anything, letting this news sink in.  
  
"I think I will be doing the same." Wesley said carefully. "Angelus is strong, and he's clever. We have to think about this first."  
  
"I've killed enough vampires, I don't see why he's any different." Gunn said stubbornly.  
  
"Maybe we should ask Cordelia what she wants to do,"  
  
"Why?"  
  
"She was. in love with him, so it would seem."  
  
"So? I was in love with Fred! Doesn't that mean anything? He killed her! He doesn't deserve to stay! She's dead; she's never coming back, ever. But Angelus, he'll just be hidden away for a while. He could come back. No one should have to go through this."  
  
"I know! I don't care what happens to Angelus, we can kill him or we can get Angel back. I don't care, but Cordelia does."  
  
They sat in silence for a few seconds.  
  
"Fine," Gunn snarled. "We'll ask Cordelia."  
It was an hour later; the three of them were gathered together in the kitchen. Empty beer cans littered the area around the bin.  
  
"Could you clean that up Dennis?" Cordelia asked rubbing her eyes.  
  
"Cordy, we have to decide what we're going to do about Angelus." Wesley said gently. She stared stonily at him then sighed deeply.  
  
"Shouldn't we wait for Fred and Lorne? This should be a group decision."  
  
"This is the group. They're both gone." Gunn said bitterly. Wesley looked up, startled. He had forgotten about Lorne in the horror of the situation.  
  
"Gone? Gone where?" Cordelia asked, not wanting to hear the answer.  
  
"Lorne, he got away. He pretended he was Angel again, God we were stupid! We thought the spell had worked, the orb thing glowed. Then he came back, saying sorry all over the place!"  
  
"Where's Fred?" Cordelia asked urgently.  
  
"Cordelia.I'm afraid I have bad news." Wesley said. "He killed her."  
  
She stared at her hands that were folded neatly in her lap. She shook her head in disbelief.  
  
"Gunn.I'm so sorry. This is all my fault."  
  
"Don't say that," Wesley said. Gunn didn't look at either of them. He turned away and concentrated on the tap, every so often a drop of water dropped out making a noise, he stared hard at it.  
  
"I called Willow." Cordelia said, trying to remain calm. They had to be strong. She wanted to stay strong, when this was over, then she would cry. If she started crying again she would never stop.  
  
"Willow?" Wesley repeated.  
  
"Yeah. Only now I don't care if we Angel back, I don't think I could ever talk to him again."  
  
"Don't think about it yet. Is she coming to LA?"  
  
"Yes. She'll be able to do the curse. She'll be here in the next hour I guess."  
  
"Is that what you want? Angel back?"  
  
"No. I just don't think it's up to us whether he should live or die."  
  
" I beg to differ." Gunn murmured. "He killed Fred and he hurt every single one of us. It is up to us."  
  
"Angel's a champion. He's saved a lot of people. And there are a lot of people he still needs to save. I just don't want to be a part of it anymore."  
  
"I don't think any of us do."  
*  
  
Willow knew as soon as she stepped into the apartment that something terrible had happened. She knew better than to ask.  
  
"Hi Cordelia," Willow greeted the brunette and reached out to hug her. She had never hugged Cordelia before, she had never wanted to, but now she wanted to be a friend. Willow didn't even want to imagine what had happened to her. Cordelia was Bruised and battered, broken.  
  
"Hey, thanks for coming." Cordelia said, mustering up a smile, but it was weak.  
  
"Is everybody here ok?"  
  
Cordelia shook her head, tears brimming. She closed her eyes and counted to ten.  
  
"No. One's missing, he kill- he killed somebody." Cordelia said and looked away.  
  
Willow clamped a hand over her mouth.  
  
"Oh Cordelia, I'm so sorry." She said. "I wish I could have done something sooner."  
  
"It's not your fault. It's mine. Let's just do this."  
  
Cordelia lead the red head into the kitchen where Gunn and Wesley were sat. Gunn ignored her but Wesley stood up and smiled, just as weakly as Cordelia.  
  
"Hello Willow."  
  
"Wesley."  
  
"This is Charles Gunn." Wesley said gesturing to Gunn.  
  
"Hey." Willow said nervously.  
  
"Hi." Gunn said, speaking just above a whisper.  
  
"I'll get started then. I'm going to need some space." Willow said.  
  
"Of course, yes." Wesley said and prodded Gunn's shoulder.  
  
"You're the chick who brought Buffy back?" Gunn asked. Cordelia and Willow exchanged nervous looks.  
  
"That's right. But I couldn't do it again. Believe me, I've tried." Willow said and set a few candles on the table.  
  
"Can't blame a guy for asking." Gunn shrugged and left the kitchen.  
  
"I'll need you to do some herb throwing, again, Cordelia." Willow said and passed her a bag.  
  
"This isn't going to almost kill you again is it?"  
  
"It didn't almost kill me," Willow said indignantly. "Just made me a little sleepy. And I'll be fine this time, I've come along way."  
  
"I trust you." Cordelia said sincerely.  
  
*  
  
Angelus was strolling through the streets of LA, deciding which unsuspecting passer by would be his next victim. He was torn between the pretty blonde who was stood obviously waiting for some one, an impatient look on her face and the teenage girl who kept shooting him confident smiles and flicking her hair around a lot. She reminded him of a seventeen- year-old Cordelia. Baring this is mind, he stood up and started to head in her direction.  
  
As he was doing so, his chest tightened up and he felt like throwing up, it was like something was been forced down his throat and it tasted disgusting. He stumbled forward and fell onto his knees.  
  
It was ending, he knew it now. He took a last look at the world and closed his eyes. When he opened them the teenager was looking down at him.  
  
"Hey, are you ok?"  
  
"I'm.fine." The word was a mask, it portrayed no emotion.  
  
"I saw you heading over, what's your name?"  
  
"Angel."  
  
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Longer than usual. NOW REVIEW! And wave goodbye to Angelus kiddies. 


	6. Chapter 6

I am so sorry this has taken forever to be updated, but I've got 2 stories on the go and a lot of course work to get through. I'm only writing this up now as the reviews encouraged me, screamed out to me they did. So thank you to everybody who did take time out to review. You rule. * Worships you*  
  
Disclaimer: Better put one of these in huh? Yeah, they're not mine obviously. I'm not getting any money for this so don't sue me. Or else I'll get my killer ninja kitty on you. She's a ninja. Rawr.  
  
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Fallen  
  
Chapter 6  
  
"What the hell is up with you tonight?" Cordelia snapped impatiently. He had managed to drag his gaze away from the entrance to the bar. She turned and looked too. There was nothing there of course. "Wesley! You've been acting weird all day." She chided in a gentler tone.  
  
Wesley cleared his throat and licked his lips nervously. He didn't answer her though and after minutes of tight silence she sighed heavily. He swung the car down the right fork in the road and they travelled down the country lane.  
  
"I'm not stupid." She growled. "And I don't appreciate you keeping secrets from me." She continued. She glared at him, daring him to speak. There was the same awkward stillness in the car and Wesley seemed to ignore her statement.  
  
It was the most uncomfortable five minutes they'd spent together. Unless you counted that whole kissing saga. Finally, Wesley pulled into the driveway. Cordelia glowered at him for a few seconds after the vehicle had pulled to a halt and then flung the door open, slammed it shut behind her and stomped towards the front door, swearing angrily when she dropped her door keys.  
  
Wesley fell back onto the seat, running his fingers through his dark curly hair. He felt like banging his head against the steering wheel and tearing his hair out. Why was this happening now? Hadn't they been through enough for one lifetime?  
  
It would be Angel again wouldn't it, it was always Angel. Everything they had ever done was for Angel, with Angel, and now here he was again, he was the reason Cordelia was angry with him, Angel was the reason they were even living here. It always boiled down to that guy, and it always would.  
  
Motherfucker.  
  
Cordelia pulled the door behind her but caught it just before it slammed. She counted to ten in her head and went to the kitchen to get a drink of water that would calm her down.  
  
She shouldn't be angry. It looked selfish, it Wesley didn't want to tell her something then that was his choice, she shouldn't care, and he didn't have to tell her everything. She hated being left out though.  
  
When Wesley appeared in the doorway she pretended not to notice and threw a handful of pasta shells into a pan.  
  
She forced herself to speak to him. "Want some pasta?"  
  
He shook his head slowly. She shrugged and poured the boiled water over the pasta and switched on the heat. He opened his mouth to spill everything. He couldn't lie to her, he couldn't keep this from her, it wasn't right.  
  
"Wesley, you don't have to tell me anything." Cordelia sighed, beating him to it. "It's not my business. Let's just forget my actions tonight and have dinner. Or supper. Ok?"  
  
"Ok," Wesley agreed and smiled feebly.  
  
*  
  
[I]  
  
"Did it work?" Wesley asked anxiously, hurrying over to Willow. She thought a little before answering.  
  
"Yeah, it did." She said and looked at Cordelia. She was stared at the orb in wonder.  
  
"Hard to believe that that little thing stops it all." She said.  
  
"Well actually, it takes quite a lot of skill." Willow muttered to herself. "How're you holding up?" She asked Cordelia with concern. Cordelia sighed and looked skyward.  
  
"I wish people would stop asking. I think it's Gunn we should be asking, but if you really want to know, I'm fine."  
  
"You all went through something terrible. I can't even begin to imagine how any of you are feeling right now. I hope you all pull through this," Willow said sincerely.  
  
"Thanks Will. For everything, you've been great." Cordelia said with a smile, a real, genuine smile.  
  
"Anytime."  
  
*  
  
Angel stood up and faltered. The girl in front of him gave him a strange look and offered her arm. He shrank away, staring into her eyes. He was horrified; he had looked into those eyes before and plotted her death.  
  
It was going to have been short by Angelus' standards. She would only have suffered a little, and then he would have drained her. He shuddered and stepped back.  
  
"What's the matter?" She asked in a snotty voice, she was ready to give up on this loser now.  
  
"Get away from me," Angel warned, his voice raising a few octaves. He was becoming hysterical now.  
  
As he walked down the streets, memories came flooding back to him in frightening bursts. By the time he reached the Hyperion he was in tears. He wanted to go into to warmth and cry for Cordelia to hold him and tell him he'd be ok, they'd be ok.  
  
The hotel was empty. Of course it was, why would they stick around? Bitter trepidation took over, surely he couldn't really have done those things? He screamed there names over and over running up the stairs dreading what he would find.  
  
He stopped short when he reached the third floor. Taking in unnecessary oxygen he gradually made his way down the corridor. When he reached room 308 he stopped and stretched out his hand till it was resting against the dark wood. He remembered hearing people screaming in there.  
  
The door swung open, a little wider, and a little wider and then he was greeted with the scene of blood, weapons and torn pieces of clothing. Angel swallowed. It was all true. He had raped her. He had murdered Fred.  
  
He stumbled backwards and backed against the wall and slid down the green- papered walls, a lump rising in his throat.  
  
*  
  
"He still hasn't called." Cordelia said quietly.  
  
"Maybe he's ashamed." Wesley said.  
  
"Maybe he's to chicken shit scared about what I'll do to him." Gunn said gruffly. No one spoke. Two weeks had passed since Willow had left LA, and Angel hadn't got in touch.  
  
Cordelia didn't know what she'd say anyway. She'd probably hang up...She didn't even want to see him, not really. She wanted closure. Maybe say goodbye? Who knew? But it felt so unresolved.  
  
"I got to tell you both something." Gunn said, shattering the silence. Cordelia looked up to show she was listening. "I'm leaving LA tonight. My friend Jazz got me a job up in New York, he said I could stay with him till I find my feet. I've had it with this life, I've lost too many people in this game, there are no rewards, just punishments."  
  
His voice was filled with bitterness.  
  
"I'm going too, back to England. I phoned an old friend on Wednesday. She's found me a house. I'll be going next week." Wesley announced.  
  
Cordelia sat in a stunned silence. They were all she had left now, and they were leaving her? What would she do? She couldn't stay and face Angel, but she had nowhere to go.  
  
She felt so isolated, she had depended on her small family for a long time now, and they were all she had and all she had ever needed.  
There were a lot of things unsaid at the airport. Wesley would have liked to say goodbye properly but something held him back.  
  
"We'll keep in touch, yeah?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
Wesley knew they wouldn't. They did the manly hug, slapping each other on the back and smiling at each other. Cordelia flung herself at him, burying her face into his shoulder.  
  
"You call us when you land." She ordered and let him go. "We'll miss you,"  
  
"Same here."  
  
And that was it. They never saw him again.  
They drove back to Cordelia's home talking about Gunn, about past, happier times, the things they had done together, things that he had said. It brought smiles to both of their faces. They disappeared again when they remembered he had gone.  
  
"Wesley, take me with you." Cordelia said unexpectedly.  
  
"What?" Wesley said, he had heard her correctly though.  
  
"Let me come to England with you." She said and dared a look at him. "I've been thinking about it all day, I can't stay here, I can't go and stay with my parents, let me come to England with you."  
  
Wesley groaned. "Cordelia, you can't run away from this-"  
  
"You are!"  
  
"Let me finish, you can't run away from Angel, he loved you Cordelia and still does, what he did to you was unforgivable, but there are things that have to said."  
  
"Please don't make me talk to him," She whispered, tears welling in her eyes and threatening to spill.  
  
"I don't want you to make the wrong choice here,"  
  
"It's my choice to make, please say you'll let me come with you, it won't be forever, just for a while, just until I feel better, please Wesley, I can't stay here alone!"  
  
He melted instantly; of course he couldn't leave her here. She was one of his best friends, the only friend he had left now. How could he even think about leaving her unaccompanied in this city?  
  
"Oh Cordelia, forgive me, of course I'll take you with me." Wesley said and stopped the car. She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tight, muttering thank you's in his ear. It was going to be ok now. She was going to be all right.  
  
[/I]  
  
****  
  
Angel stared at her in wonder. She was even more beautiful than he remembered. He could see her through the kitchen window pouring drinks for her and him. He was hidden from her, but she was on full display to him.  
  
God she was incredible, how could he have let her go? He licked his lips hungrily and imagined seeing her properly again, taking her in his arms and kissing her.  
  
He could see her face lighting up in pleasure and embracing him.  
  
"Soon," He promised and gave her slender form one last lingering look before leaving.  
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